Crush On Your Colleague? Here’s How To Navigate It
Share
As Valentine’s Day approaches and people start to feel the romantic vibes, Google searches for “office crush” have risen by 268% in the last month, and on TikTok, there are 55.1 million posts under the search “Having a work crush”. But is it a good idea to tell your work crush that you fancy them?
Confessing feelings to a coworker can lead to something great – but it could also turn the office into a minefield of awkward encounters. Career expert Rob Phelps at AI Jobs reveals how to navigate a workplace crush.
DO YOU REALLY FANCY THEM?
Spending 40 hours a week with someone, helping each other deal with stressful deadlines, laughing over coffee on your breaks, and bonding over a shared dislike of Karen in Accounting can make it feel like chemistry – but make sure you’re dealing with a real crush, not just an office romance illusion. Ask yourself if you would be interested in them outside of work, or have you just developed feelings simply because of the environment, rather than true compatibility?
CONSIDER THE RISKS
If it is a true crush, consider the risks and consequences of confessing your feelings. Rejection can make things extremely uncomfortable, especially when you have to see them every day. Office gossip is inevitable, whether your advance is reciprocated or not, so think about whether you’re prepared for your confession to be discussed around the water cooler.
Think about your professional reputation, too. Workplace romances can be difficult, and if it doesn’t end well, it can cause awkwardness and tension within the team. Find out if your company has a policy about workplace romances – some have strict rules against it, so think about whether you want to jeopardise your career for a crush.
TEST THE WATERS
Before you go for a rom-com confession in the middle of the office, take a moment to think about whether they might feel the same way.
Observe their behaviour towards you versus other coworkers, like whether they make an effort to engage with you or seek you out for lunch and coffee breaks, or for activities after work. Pay attention to body language, like holding eye contact longer than usual, or mirroring your gestures and leaning in when talking.
START SMALL
There’s a time and a place for telling them interested – and a public setting, in the office, or at a work event, isn’t it.
Start with something small, like asking if they’d like to get a coffee at the new café down the road, or inviting them to an event that you’re going to, that you think they’d be interested in. This gives them a chance to say yes if their feelings may be mutual, or decline without it being awkward. If they say yes and the vibe is right, you can build to a more direct conversation about how you feel.
BE PREPARED FOR A NO
Unrequited crushes can be draining, so no matter how much it stings if they don’t feel the same way, you’ll know where you stand, and you can move on. Be prepared for how you’ll handle potential awkwardness in the workplace if they say no to your advances, and most importantly – respect their decision. Don’t push it if they’re not interested.
SET BOUNDARIES
They’re interested in you, too? Congratulations! But remember to set boundaries for how you’ll act in the workplace if you do start dating.
Workplace romances require you to stay professional, so keep PDA to a minimum, and don’t let your personal issues and disagreements spill into the office, because this can make it awkward for everyone else, and can lead to complaints.
HAVE AN EXIT STRATEGY
Think about what will happen if things don’t work out, and you break up. When an office romance ends, it’s different to a normal break up where you can block their number, delete photos of them, and never see them again.
Would you still be able to work together? If one of you had to leave because the atmosphere is unbearable, who would be the one to leave? If a break up would make it impossible to keep working together – is it a good idea to tell them? When a break up can impact your career, it might be best to think about what would happen if things went south before you get together, rather than at the end.
